IC Contact Post

[theshortestbird]

"Hey, you've reached Tim. I can't pick up right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."

Comments

[calling you bro]

[theshortestbird]

[That is what he's here for! Sometimes. But he picks up almost immediately, because Blaine's ringtone means... well, that it's Blaine.]

Tim speaking, sorry, we don't do deliveries, but we make a mean calzone.

[mediumdrip]

[after a moment, he chuckles] I take it that means you're back to work?

[theshortestbird]

[He laughs.] Kind of. In a way. My boss is pleased by my work, so that has to mean something, right? How are you? What's up?

[mediumdrip]

I...

Rachel's dead...

[theshortestbird]

...I'm sorry. Are you... does everyone know? How are they holding up? How are you holding up?

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine is quiet for a moment and then he lets himself say things he's been holding in. Tim's one of those people he can trust with the way that he really feels.]

I don't know.

I just... I don't know any of it.

I hate this. I hate that I don't feel close enough to any one right now to really find out, or to tell them how much she means to me too.

I want to be there for Finn and Kurt, but I messed things up so badly. I don't even know where to start. I feel like nothing I say or do is good enough or right.

The night that it happened I stayed at Kurt's apartment. I just didn't want him to be alone. We ended up sleeping on the couch together and when I woke up I just felt so guilty, like I had done something wrong trying to be there for him.

Why can't I just feel normal?

[By the end he just sounds a little angry. And he realizes that he's ranting so he stops himself from continuing.]

[theshortestbird]

[Tim lets him rant, because that's okay. He needs to let Blaine know that it's okay to talk about his feelings, since he never did that before.]

The only thing that's stopping you from doing all that is... it's you. Blaine. You can be there for them. Just because you messed up some things with the drugs doesn't mean you can't be there for them. Let them know how you feel.

But, Blaine. It's going to take awhile to feel normal. Mostly because, I don't know if you know what normal is. There's no set standard for it, you know? But it's whatever you want to feel. [He sighs.] I still think that you really need to take another step back when it comes to Kurt, though. I get it, that he's your friend and everything, but you feel horrible around him, talking to him, whatever. For right now, not forever, maybe cutting off some ties would be more helpful.

I know it sucks. But that's... yeah, it sucks, but doing something to make yourself feel better is the only thing you can really do.

[mediumdrip]

I know.


I know. I'm sorry to put all of this on you.

[theshortestbird]

Hey! Hey, I swear, if you start thinking that I don't want to listen to you or anything, I will come over there and I will hit you repeatedly. I swear it. Blaine, I like listening to you. You're the only friend I have here who will listen to me, so why shouldn't I return the favor?

That's what friends do. Trust me. It's okay. Rant all you want. You don't rant enough, in my opinion.

[mediumdrip]

[He makes a soft sound of amusement]

I've seen the way that you hit, remind me not think that way again. I don't want to get on your bad side.

[theshortestbird]

What can I say, I'm a power house. [Laughs.] So.

[mediumdrip]

[change of subject time] How have you been?

[theshortestbird]

I've been okay. I've started... talking, to some people, who know what the right thing to do is. So I've been getting to know what to do, from their experiences.

[mediumdrip]

Like a therapist or a support group?

[theshortestbird]

I have an appointment to see a therapist. But more like... seeing some people I haven't seen in awhile.

[mediumdrip]

So, friends?

[theshortestbird]

...Kinda. Not. [He frowns.] Kinda friends. More like acquaintances from back home.

[mediumdrip]

That's good though, as long as they are helping you.

[theshortestbird]

It is good. I think so, anyway. It's nice to talk to people, sometimes. Otherwise I'd be working all the time.

[mediumdrip]

Working all of the time can be a good distraction, when you need it.

[theshortestbird]

Have you been able to go to work?

[mediumdrip]

For a couple of nights, yeah. I'm going to start off slow, I think.

I don't think I'll be trying for full time again. I want to go back to school too, so working at a night club full time at the same time might be a bad idea.

[theshortestbird]

Are you going to go to the university, or back to high school? [Bites lip.] You could probably get into the university, here. You're really smart.

[mediumdrip]

I don't know if I'm ready for that, honestly.

I think I might look into some kind of program that would be similar to a GED? Some way of maybe getting a general education certification. University can come after that.

If I found a program that was only a few days a week I think I could do that. They have stuff like that back home for busy adults who want to go back to school.

[theshortestbird]

They have that here. I know they do, one of the first things I looked at when I got here was their education system. I got my GED awhile ago. Took some time, but it's worth it.